piss ´n´ vinegar

One day last week I found myself fuming mad, cursing out loud at Argentina. I literally told it to ¨F-off¨ and gave it the finger. Really Lia? Was that necessary? The worst part was, it was over nothing. Or rather, it was over a bunch of little things that by themselves were nothing, and added up didn´t really amount to much either... at least not enough to curse and wave middle fingers at.

Piles of dog poop in the streets. The banks only giving me $100 peso bills, without businesses willing to accept these bills. Breathing black exhaust from dirty buses. Garbage lining the gutters. Men leering at me, making kissy noises, whistling, giving me the thrice-over with their up-to-no-good eyes. The lack of green places to run. Window shoppers and groups of people with linked arms clogging the sidewalks. Mysterious, dirty water falling on my head from above. So much noise, so many angry horns being beeped for no good reason. Cigarette smoke blown in my face.

Sometimes it´s just too much. It all closes in on me at once, drives me crazy. I try to suppress the irritation, the anger, the tiny fits of rage, but they bubble up. And then the aforementioned happens.

Since my arrival, these days have surfaced on a fairly regular basis. I step out the door and some annoyance aggravates me, and throughout the day all I can see are the negative things about the city. By mid-afternoon all that´s pulsing through my veins is a bunch of piss and vinegar. It´s ugly. And it makes me feel very disappointed in myself.

When did I become such a negative person? Is my life here really that horrible? Where does all of this bad energy come from? Why do I let it get to me? Why don´t I focus on the good?

Good question... why don´t I?

I´ve decided that months three, four and five will be filled with more tolerance and less irritation. More deep breathing (when not around said buses and cigarettes) and less flipping of the bird. I will be better about letting things roll off my back. I will say, ¨Hey, it´s Argentina. It´s all part of the experience.¨ (Because, in reality, it is.) I will not waste any more time not appreciating the good... and there´s a lot of the good.

It is sunny here almost six days a week. Spring has arrived. There are fresh flower stands on nearly every corner. Anything I might need is within a five-minute walk of my apartment. There are endless restaurants to try, little shops to explore. The exchange rate is almost 4 pesos to the dollar. I have met some incredible people here. I love my yoga studio. On the weekends, every park and plaza in the city is full of families and friends simply enjoying each others´ company. The street food is delicious. The regular food is incredible. Beer, ice cream and laundry can all be delivered right to your door. The street fairs are fabulous. I can walk everywhere. Each neighborhood is so different; it´s like a bunch of little cities all strung together. I work four days a week, from 2-4pm. I have to set my alarm to wake up before noon. Dinner is cooked for me every night... and it´s really good. It is Argentine tradition to spend hours sitting outside at cafes, lingering over coffee and beer in the late afternoon sunshine. I´m learning so much Spanish. And, I´m living in Argentina.

Argentina.

Now that´s something to smile about.