miss lia, miss lia!

I started teaching English this week... only two months after my arrival. And after four days, I´ve decided that I don´t think it´s a good fit. I´ll give it another week and see how it goes, but I think I´m looking at another curve ball from South America... and probably another change of plans. The teaching job isn´t horrible, it´s actually quite entertaining... I just don´t feel like I´ll learn very much, and won´t get enough out of the experience to warrant it twelve weeks of my precious time here. We´ll see.

I asked for a placement where I would be teaching adults, and I ended up at a primary school in a classroom full of ten-year-olds... which would´ve had potential, except for the fact that they´re crazy. The class is complete madness. And I´m not so much teaching as observing. Observing the madness that is twenty ten-year-olds hopped up on sugar after lunchtime with a very lax teacher who doesn´t really implement any rules.

After four days of this said ¨teaching,¨ these are the images that are swimming in my mind... well, more like whirling in a cloud of madness in my frazzled mind...

Graffitied desks in disarray. Six-to-fifteen students talking at any point during the class... particularly while the teacher is talking. Orange soda and potato chips ¨sneaked¨ under desks. Children drawing moustaches and tattoos on each others´ upper lips and arms. Ties used as nooses. Michael Jackson drawn on the chalkboard. A floor littered with scraps of paper. Pages torn out of notebooks. Windows being opened in the middle of class and kids scrambling out onto the balcony. Students throwing themselves into the doorway as they enter the classroom, then pretending to have bloody noses. And the questions, oh the questions...

¨Miss Lia, Miss Lia!, what is your favorite Madonna song?!¨ Material Girl. ¨Miss Lia, why did you come to Buenos Aires?!¨ To learn Spanish. ¨You don´t speak Spanish?¨ No. (I was told to lie about this.) ¨Miss Lia, what country are you from in the United States?¨ Minnesota. ¨Miss Lia! Are you married?!¨ No. ¨Miss Lia! Do you have a boyfriend?!¨ Yes. ¨Miss Lia! Where does he live?¨ Minnesota. ¨What is his name?¨ Andy. ¨What does he do?¨ He´s a businessman.¨Does he like Madonna?¨ No.

¨Children! Enough about the boyfriend! Ask her something else.¨

¨Miss Lia! Do you like Michael Jackson?¨ Yes. ¨He died 54 days ago!¨ Yes, he did. ¨Miss Lia, do you have a car?¨ Yes. ¨What kind?¨ A Honda. (This received a thumbs down.) ¨Miss Lia, how do you call your surname?¨ Middlebrook. ¨Miss Lia, how old are you?¨ 24. ¨You look 15!¨ Well good. ¨Miss Lia, do you know New York?¨ Yes. ¨Do you know all of the United States?¨ No. ¨Do you like The Beatles?¨ Yes. ¨What is your favorite Madonna again?¨ Material Girl.

And, the blue ribbon goes to an adorable little boy who, full of sass, smirked at me and said, ¨Miss Lia, my name is Gonzalo, but you can call me Bond. James Bond.¨